So we have got to a point where we understand what neurodivergence and neurodiversity is, we can see the strengths of including it and can appreciate that there are changes in the environment that need to be enacted. One of the most challenging tasks when talking about neurodiversity is disclosure as there is still discrimination, stigma, and a lack of understanding surrounding this topic. However, by approaching the conversation with thoughtfulness and framing it positively, we can foster greater awareness and acceptance. Drawing from my own experiences studying neurodiversity, working with many neurodivergent individuals and understanding my own needs, I can share some of my tips for engaging in discussions about neurodiversity.
Choose the right time and place: When discussing your neurodivergent profile, consider the context and the people you are engaging with. It may be helpful to have these conversations in a private and comfortable setting, where you feel safe and supported. Timing is crucial, so ensure that both you and the person you’re speaking with have enough time and mental space to engage in a meaningful conversation.
Frame it positively and focus on strengths: Highlighting the strengths and unique perspectives associated with neurodivergent profiles can help shift the conversation towards a more constructive and empowering direction. Emphasise the skills, talents, and contributions that neurodivergent individuals bring to the table. By framing neurodiversity in a positive light, you can challenge misconceptions and foster a greater appreciation for the diverse abilities that exist within the neurodivergent community.
Discuss limitations, but with context: While it is important to acknowledge any challenges or limitations you may face due to your neurodivergent profile, provide context to help others understand how these limitations can be managed or overcome. Share strategies or accommodations that have helped you navigate these challenges effectively. By offering solutions or insights into how you navigate your unique needs, you can demonstrate your adaptability and resilience.
Personalise your disclosure: The decision to disclose your neurodivergent profile is deeply personal and depends on where you are in your own journey as you may not fully understand or be aware of what your needs and sensitivities are. Consider your level of comfort and the potential impact of disclosure before sharing. It may be helpful to disclose gradually, starting with trusted individuals who are more likely to be understanding and supportive. As you build trust, you can gauge the environment and decide how much information to disclose.
Prioritise your health and well-being: Recognise that discussing neurodiversity can be emotionally taxing, and it’s crucial to prioritise your own well-being throughout the process. Take breaks when needed, seek support from trusted individuals or support groups, and engage in self-care practices that help you maintain balance and resilience. Remember that your mental and emotional health should always come first. I can add that if you are in a state of burnout or overwhelm — talking from a strengths and positive approach will be almost impossible because you are in a stress state and finding immediate ways to manage the overwhelm will be a priority. In these instances, it is vital to have a support figure and advocate to help through the immediate challenge and know your rights to have support and accommodations.
Create a “work style” document: Consider developing a document that outlines your preferred work style, accommodations, and communication preferences. This can help you communicate your needs effectively to colleagues, managers, or potential employers. Include information on how you work best, preferred methods of communication, and any specific accommodations that enable you to perform at your best. By proactively sharing this document, you can foster understanding and collaboration within the workplace. I would also urge this to become a common practice for all people, not just neurodivergent people, because we all have preferences, and different needs and communicating this way can create a respectful and common understanding that is very inclusive and productive.
In the interest of explaining disclosure and sharing an example, this is my ‘work style’ document.
My neurodivergence I am Dyslexic, self-identifying ADHD and Autistic
Background to my neurodiversity I was diagnosed dyslexic at age 7 and since 2021 coming to learn I may be ADHD and autistic. My ND profile can appear like I am full of contradictions. I need routines and like systems but I also often need a bit of chaos and get excited about experiencing new things. I am also likely to misspell things and make ‘easy’ mistakes but I am also very detail oriented and notice differences or changes that most people would miss.
I prefer to be identified as neurodivergent
You may communicate my neurodiversity to…e.g. HR, other managers, co-workers.
My key skills Problem solving, gathering insights, figuring out how to make new things happen, and bringing people together behind a goal.
My strengths I can learn things very quickly, I am great at connecting the dots and seeing patterns and insights that other people would miss, I am very empathetic and enjoy coaching people and bringing out their strengths.
My challenges I get easily tired and overwhelmed by social events, I don’t like surprises (of any sort) and I struggle to follow long processes with multiple steps that have to be done in a certain order e.g. building spreadsheets and following some directions (especially if not written down).
Communication and work style
How I like to be communicated to and receive information/ instructions I value direct communication and I am not offended by someone stating facts and straight feedback about myself. I prefer to receive information and instructions written up and clear expectations on priorities and due dates where possible. If you ask me an opinion about something and it’s something I haven’t thought of thoroughly before I won’t give you a very clear answer but I will be thinking about it for the next few days and want to follow up with a more detailed and considered answer.
How I like to communicate with other people I think things through before speaking to make sure I am communicating my true beliefs and knowledge correctly. I like to have verbal communication and face to face conversations over writing long emails but I prefer to share information that requires a summary of the next steps in a written way, clearly and concisely.
How to give me feedback As directly as possible please and in a timely way. Even if something feels harsh to say I prefer to hear it. I can usually tell if someone is withholding information from me so it’s best to say it.
How I work in a team I like teamwork and will be someone who comes up with ideas as well as making sure we are on track for our goals and not going off track.
How I like to learn I like to self teach and enjoy new tasks where I can go away and learn lots of new things and apply them to what I am working on and the goals I have.
How I like to organise myself I like to have some routines and organise my things in a way where everything has a place otherwise I get object permanence issues and forget about them. If I have to do the same thing every day however I would feel suffocated and need to change something.
When I work best (hours and days etc) The hours I work completely depend on my energy levels which vary a lot from day to day. I tend to have a few days a week where I want to work from early until late or I have a slower start and pick up my energy again towards the evening. Between 2–4pm my energy dips and I can’t do very much but will get into a flow state and work between 4–7pm.
Preferred environment I prefer to work 3 days in an office/co-working space or cafe. I like to have body-doubling to help me work and get started on tasks. I also like to have some time alone and away from other people to work on things that need deeper focus and no interruptions. I need my own desk space but I also like to move around and work from different places.
Feelings and actions
When I am having a good day… I can be very energetic, and talkative and will come up with lots of ideas. I will need to move around a lot and get up, walk around and exercise. I tend to start earlier on good days, sometimes 8am and can keep going.
When I am having a bad day… I can seem withdrawn and very quiet. I will need some space and may just communicate by email. I will need (or have had to have) more sleep so that means starting the day later, around 10am.
If I become overwhelmed I may need to…Take time away and not talk a lot to process what I am dealing with. I will tend to want to write and journal to process difficult information.
Other information e.g.
Responding to emails I will either reply straight away and have already done a request or take several days and need chasing up.
Absenses e.g. tell me via email or text when you won’t be around or will be late
Details or big picture? I can do both big picture thinking and I also obsess over details that interest me.
Misunderstandings people may have about me That I am a quiet person. I can be quiet in unfamiliar places but in one-on-one conversations and in familiar environments I am quite extroverted. I can talk a lot about my special interests.
Engaging in discussions about neurodiversity requires courage, patience, and a willingness to educate others. I hope that by sharing these tips and my example you can support yourself to disclose your needs in a way that will work for you and build better awareness. Remember, your voice is valuable, and through open dialogue, we can build a more inclusive and supportive society for all.
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